I was confident that I could raise a daughter properly and teach her many things—after all, as a woman, I had my own rich experience to draw from. But instead of a daughter, with whom I’m sure I would have had an innate connection, I had a son. Then another. Then another. And another. Four boys, and not the slightest idea of how to raise them properly.
But as it turned out, with the help of intuition and numerous trials and errors, I managed to overcome the challenges and learned how to connect with my boys (like any mother who bears the responsibility for her children). Raising boys unexpectedly turned out to be a fascinating process, especially after I discovered some key points about their behavior—a sort of life hacks.
I also asked my friends and acquaintances—moms who are raising boys—to share the life hacks that help them. As a result, I compiled this long list of carefully selected and tried-and-true tips for raising boys from seasoned moms.
- No Matter What You Buy, Make Sure the Label Says “Durable,” “Sturdy,” or “Long-lasting.”
When it comes to raising boys, it’s important to remember that it’s hard to keep anything intact with them around. This applies to all things. Yes, boys can be calm and careful—those are wonderful but, unfortunately, rare moments. So, I advise you to stock up on patience.
- Get a Dog.
A dog will pick up the crumbs boys constantly leave behind and will be a good sparring partner (if it’s large enough). Walks and playtime with the dog will help boys burn off some of their boundless energy. Additionally, caring for a pet teaches children responsibility, which is crucial in families where there are younger siblings.
- Teach Them to Pee Sitting Down.
Whose “brilliant” idea was it to teach boys to pee standing up? Probably a guy! And while the male anatomy allows them to “aim” during the process, it doesn’t mean boys will always hit the target. In fact, I’d say that in 90% of cases, it’s more like spraying from an unattended fire hose. They can pee standing up when they’re older, but until then, teach them to do it sitting down and neatly.
- Teach Them Early to Clean Up After Themselves in the Bathroom.
Even little kids can wipe up splashes from uncontrollable streams (pro tip: stock up on plenty of antibacterial wipes). For example, my sons could clean the toilet by themselves by the time they were eight. These skills are doubly useful. First, it saves you from having to scrub in rubber gloves after boys use the toilet. Second, they find the process as unpleasant as I do, so next time, they’ll be more careful, knowing they’ll have to clean up afterward. A win-win, right?
- Turn Ordinary Tasks into Fun Competitions.
The main thing to remember about raising boys is that all boys love to compete. Everything becomes a race to be the best: the fastest cereal eater, the strongest grocery carrier, etc. So, if they refuse to do something, challenge them to see who can do it faster. The best motivation for boys is the prospect of being the winner, even if they don’t actually win anything.
- Learn to Recognize Your Sons’ Socks and Underwear.
If you have several boys in the family, it can sometimes be hard to figure out who owns what. To make things easier, buy each of them clothes with distinctive details. For example, if I see socks with a blue stripe, I know they belong to my middle son because I specifically buy those for him; boxers with a black stripe clearly belong to my oldest.
- Buy Lots and Lots of Pants.
Whether it’s jeans or sweatpants, boys wear them out at an alarming rate (are they eating them or what?). The issue of a pants shortage will come up constantly, so I suggest stocking up on them in large quantities—in their size, a size up, on sale—so that next time you find a new hole (usually at the knee), you’re prepared.
- Stock Up on Snacks.
Generally, boys eat a lot and often. But there are also those who “live on air”—they often push their plate away and then dig into dessert. Either way, always have plenty of snacks on hand. Also, teach them how to make simple things for themselves, like sandwiches or scrambled eggs, so you don’t have to do it every five minutes.
- Stock Up on Toothbrushes.
Any parent thinking about how to raise boys properly should remember that brushing teeth isn’t a favorite activity for most rambunctious boys. They’ll find any excuse not to do it—“lost” their toothbrush (how?), don’t want to use it because their brother already did. Have plenty of new brushes in reserve to nip any poor oral hygiene excuses in the bud.
- Stock Up on Batteries.
Nearly everything they like requires batteries. It’s best to stock up in advance to avoid “catastrophes” when their favorite toy runs out of power. One tip: keep your stash out of reach, or they’ll constantly be changing batteries (even when it’s not necessary).
- Don’t Expect Them to Be Well-Acquainted with Personal Hygiene Rules.
For example, how and when to use deodorant. This can be a challenging battle—getting them to always be clean and smell fresh, especially at the age when they start feeling self-conscious. Gently explain to them how to wash properly in general and in certain areas specifically. You might be surprised, but many boys think splashing some water is enough to be clean.
- Hiding Something Forbidden Up High Won’t Necessarily Stop Them.
For example, those batteries mentioned earlier. Don’t doubt it; boys will find a way to reach them. This skill has been honed ever since they learned to reach for things.
- Assemble a Good First-Aid Kit.
This is a must-have that can come in handy at any moment. All parents we talked to about raising boys from birth agree that endless falls, bruises, and other minor mishaps happen constantly with boys, regardless of their age.
- Explain That It’s Okay Not to Like All Stereotypical “Boy Stuff.”
Not everyone is into sports, trucks, or dinosaurs, and boys may get teased because of this. In our culture, it’s common to shame boys who aren’t considered “real men.” If your son’s interests differ from those of his peers, try to be his most loyal ally. Support and encourage him in any way you can. This is one of the most important rules for raising boys.
- Teach Them That It’s Okay to Show Their Emotions.
Unfortunately, the phrase “be a man” is still relevant. Explain to boys that crying is a natural reaction. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, so there’s no need to tell them, “Stop it right now.”
- Let Older Brothers Teach Younger Ones What They’re Interested In.
This is a great way for older and younger brothers to interact. Plus, when they’re all engaged in the same activity, the house is calm and peaceful.
- Always Check Pants Pockets Before Washing.
Always do this, or one day you might accidentally wash a frog. Or a second-grader’s entire savings for an army compass.
- Let Them Take Apart Old Things.
Some boys love to tinker with things. Find them old or unwanted items—better they take those apart than something you use. When we gave our oldest son an old computer, he learned to change the hard drive, and our “oldie” started working again. The boy was very proud of this. Considering that we had to say goodbye to a brand-new iron and smartphone before this, I decided to include this as an important tip for raising boys.
- Stick to a Minimalist Style in Your Home Decor.
You saw a beautiful vase at the sale! Forget about it, as well as your interest in decorative trinkets and the joy of resting on soft throw pillows. You’ll have to part with beautiful decor items for a long time—at least until your mischievous boys grow up and calm down.
- Talk to Them While Doing Something Together.
My sons will talk my ear off about their favorite video games, but if I ask them how their day went, I’ll get a very short answer: “Good.” The trick is that it’s best to talk to them while playing games together—playing basketball, doing puzzles, or playing video games. They seem to open up more when their hands are busy. So, remember this important rule among the tips on how to raise boys.
- Learn to Cut Their Hair Yourself.
There are many good video tutorials online, and if you take the time to watch them and invest in a good pair of scissors, you can save a lot of money on your boys’ haircuts.
- Carry a List of Their Sizes (Especially Shoes) and Keep It Updated.
This way, you’ll have useful information when you need it—for example, during a sale or promotion at a store when the boys aren’t with you. This is one of the important tips for raising boys for moms. Dads, of course, do everything they can to avoid shopping.
- Let Them Sleep in Sweatpants Instead of Pajamas.
Three of my four boys prefer what they call “comfy pants”—sweatpants. So in the evening, after a bath, I follow the lazy mom’s style and let them wear sweatpants and a t-shirt instead of the usual pajamas. That way, in the morning, they wake up already dressed.
- Hug Them as Often as Possible.
Boys, for the most part, are affectionate creatures; they need physical touch. Their hugs give you incomparable feelings! And if you don’t hug them as often as possible, you’re missing out on a lot. This is perhaps the most important thing in raising boys.
These are the practical tips worth following from the very beginning of raising boys. They will help make your life much easier. We learned all this through our own bitter experience, and we hope you won’t have to repeat our mistakes.